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I carry around a box. It’s a nice shiny box. It’s been wrapped up real nice and neat so that when people see my box they think that my God is attractive to them. It’s my duty right? My duty to make it look like God always does things according to how He should so that people will be attracted to Him. However, to be honest, the box underneath the shiny, neat wrapping is all torn up and ugly looking. It has been put back together with duct tape and is all scarred up. That is what my real life looks like underneath the nice, pretty packaging.
Well, a few weeks ago my box was ripped open. A friend mine died way too young, it seemed that I did a thousand funerals, every other person was being diagnosed with cancer or some terminal disease, or they were losing something or someone important to them. It was to the point that I had a heated debate with God over what He was doing. He obviously was not cooperating with my agenda for Him.
I was directed to Jonah 3 & 4 and it seemed that Jonah had walked in the same shoes that I was walking in that week. In Jonah 3 God re-establishes Jonah’s call to share God’s impending doom upon Nineveh. Jonah was excited about the opportunity to see God bring justice to the city of Nineveh. He could not wait to see them get what they deserved. Jonah preaches and the people are moved by God to the point that they repent. Jonah was MAAAADDD!!!! I’m sure Jonah was saying, “God, why do the scum of the world get to experience your grace? They deserve your mighty justice! Wipe ‘em out!” I’ve thought that same thing. I’ve said in my heart, “God, why do the scum of the earth keep prospering and the good…die young?”
I then thought about all the reasons that I get angry with God. First, is when God does not provide healing when I ask for it. I mean, I am asking for his glory to be done. I know that the person who has been healed from their malady will tell the story of how God healed them and everyone will be moved and give God glory for their healing. I think about the story in John 5:6-16 of the man who sat by the Pool of Bethesda for 30+ years waiting to be the first person into the pool so he can be healed. Then Jesus walks up to him one day and asks the most obvious question ever, “Do you want to be healed?” What the heck? Can you imagine the lame man saying, “Uh, no, I like sitting here. I will pass on the healing offer, but thanks anyway.” The man by the pool said, “Yes.” Jesus told him to get up and take his mat. So he did. He didn’t even know Jesus’ name.
Then I think about the man whose friends brought him to be healed by Jesus but the crowd was so big they couldn’t get to him. So, being good friends, they climbed up on the roof, tore through it and dropped their friend at the feet of Jesus (Luke 5:17-26). Jesus heals him too. I have brought my friends’ needs and dropped them at the feet of Jesus too, but nothing seems to happen. Why? I then read Matthew 21:22 and it tells me, “Whatever you ask for in prayer you will receive, if you have faith.” Do I not have enough faith to ask for my friends and loved ones healing?
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I also get angry with God over shattered dreams. A loss of a job, a loved one, etc. I think of the story of Lazarus and his death (John 11:20-27; 32-35). We know the end of the story and that Lazarus was brought back from the dead, but Mary and Martha didn’t. Their dreams were shattered when Lazarus died. They sent word to Jesus, one of their best friends, and he didn’t show up on time. He was too late. Martha runs out to Jesus when does arrive (late) and tells him, “If only you’d been here!” Mary then hears that Jesus has shown up (late) and falls at his feet and says, “If only you’d been here!” The pain is deep in the midst of shattered dreams. I’ve thought the same thing…”Jesus, if only you’d have been here when I asked you to be here!”
I also get angry with God when I believe he doesn’t care. Remember the story of Jesus and his disciples on a boat in the midst of a storm (Mark 4:35-41)? A storm comes up and the disciples are freaking out. They are using buckets to keep the boat from being overcome by the waves of water and sinking the boat. It’s an all hands on deck situation. They are scrambling around and then someone looks over and sees Jesus…sleeping?! Someone in the group runs over to Jesus and wakes him up. Can you imagine that conversation? “Hey, uh, Jesus…yeah, sorry to wake you but we got a little situation here. Feel those rain drops? Yeah, well…WE ARE ABOUT TO DIE! HOW CAN YOU SLEEP DURING THIS?” Jesus’ response is basically, “Uh, (yawn), why are you guys fearful? Storm, be still.” It stops… Do you ever feel like God is sleeping at the wheel? Your boat is sinking and he does not seem to give a rip. Or as the disciples asked him, “Do you not care that we are perishing?”
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I also get angry with God when he blows up my theological understanding of Him. I have a doctorate in God. I’m supposed to tell others about how God works; “If you do this, God will do this.” I was reminded of the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). You know it well. The younger son comes to the Father and asks for his inheritance and he gets his half early. The younger son runs off and squanders his inheritance on everything that the Father has told him to stay away from as a young man. He does it with an intention of hurting the heart of his Father. The whole time the older son is at home performing his duties, doing his thing, and being obedient to what his Father asks of him. The older son cannot wait to hear the “dressing down” his younger brother is going to get when he comes home after spending his inheritance. He loves to see justice given out. Then one day the older brother comes in from his duties and hears a party going on and I bet he is thinking, “Finally, father is going to celebrate me. Yes, I’m getting some big-time gifts.” Then a servant tells him, “Uh, that’s for your younger brother. He has come home. Your father has lavished him with gifts…” The older brother thought, “What?! I’ve been the good son. I’ve been here the whole time doing what the Father asked. I deserve the party, not my brother. He deserves justice!” I’m the older brother.
So, when do you get angry with God? Why do you get angry with him? God has reminded me, “My ways are not your ways Chris; My thoughts are not your thoughts Chris.” Then I’m reminded of Romans 6:23 and what the wages of my sin is…okay, I’m really deserving of those wages, BUT I’ve accepted his grace. I’ve convinced myself that I deserved God’s grace more than “those people.”
Jonah went away from Nineveh pouting & angry because God offered grace to “those people.” He wanted justice for the people Nineveh. He was just extended grace, but he deserved it. Jonah’s God-box had been ripped apart.
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Well, my box has been ripped apart. I keep duct-taping it. When God jumps out of my box that I have for him and I get angry, upset, or want to quit I have to run back to the simple truth’s. This time I was reminded of the song Jesus Loves Me. Remember the words? Jesus Loves Me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, for we are weak and He is strong…
